It being Halloween , I'm reposting my own story of a run in with a ghost....
Several years ago we stayed at a lovely farmhouse near Clonmel, Ireland that had beautiful views and a working dairy farm.
Just off their grounds was an ancient barren cottage that, as the story went, was the setting where a young girl named Maggie Maguire purportedly “danced the devil”.
I checked the story out at a local pub and several people confided it was true and that the ghost of Maggie frequently visited nearby farmhouses, often heard dancing in empty rooms.
Our landlady told us, occasionally, they would hear sounds from her kitchen when no one was there and when investigated, the noise would stop. Within minutes of leaving the room, the noise would start again. This would go on for several minutes until finally the “noise” would go away. The landlady’s daughter told us it was the ghost of Maggie come back to dance, but the landlady suspected mice.
Two days later we indeed heard suspicious shuffling sounds coming from the kitchen and when we entered to find its source, it went away. This “cycle” of trying to “sneak up” on the ghost continued for several minutes until the sounds finally subsided.
Unbeknownst to us, during our “third foray into the kitchen” my daughter had set up her digital camera, which can take a three minute digital movie, on a kitchen cabinet and pressed the “On” button to record any sounds and activity. After the incident was over, she explained what she had done and we immediately set up the output cord from her camera to the landlady’s television.
You will be as shocked as we were. Click on the link below to see if you feel it is the image of a young girl dancing about 30-40 seconds into the movie.
Some people say it’s just a trick of light, shadows, or a wisp of smoke, but I don’t know.
Warning, this movie can be very disturbing to young children and is not for the faint-hearted!
You must first heed the following warnings prior to viewing:
1. Completely finish ingesting all liquids and food items one minute prior to viewing.
2. Remove all open liquid containers from the proximity of the computer and keyboard.
3. Do not hold objects of any kind in your hands as they could become projectiles.
4. Insure that there is a sufficiently clear area behind you in the event that your chair becomes mobile.
5. Do not allow pets or small children to view the computer screen nor allow them to be in the flight path of your chair.
6. Do not view this in an office environment.
7. Do not view this using a small remote device while in a public setting
8. Do not have any items in your lap.
9. If you are wearing expensive socks or stockings, remove them prior to viewing.
10. People with high blood pressure, heart conditions or poor bladder control should not view this.
In this light, great discretion should be used when showing this to people of advanced age.
Now, if all the above conditions are met, you may click the following link....
Click on the following link (You’ll need shockwave to view this):
i7.photobucket.com . . .
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Stunning Solo Dress for Sale!!!
Kirk: “Set your phasers on ‘Stunning’.”
Spock: (with arched eyebrow) “I believe you mean “Stun” Captain.”
Bones: “Damn it Jim, it’s just a solo dress!”
You’ve probably seen it too many times:
“Stunning solo dress for sale!” the ad says.
You click on the link and look…
It’s appealing, it’s attractive, and it might even be “eye catching”… But “stunning?” We think not.
Let’s look at a dictionary shall we...
Stunning: -adjective 1. Capable of causing or liable to cause astonishment, bewilderment, or loss of consciousness. 2. Of striking beauty or excellence. Synonyms: Stupefying, numbing, dumbfounding, astounding.
Admit it, that’s what we really want… a solo dress that will astound, stupefy or even cause loss of consciousness on the part of the adjudicator.
In short: “Stunning.”
And until today, such a dress was unachievable...
Until today, the very thought of a dress of this quality was beyond the reach of mere Irish dance mortals such as ourselves…
Until today…
I’ll say it one more time, with not one, not two, but three exclamation points.
Stunning Solo Dress for Sale!!!
The judge will really sit up straight and swear off drinking when she gets a gander of your daughter in this outfit.
This composite dress incorporates a bold array of colors, styles, and fabrics and its “one size fits all design” is suitable for a slim fourteen year old dancer or a forty-five year old, overweight, couch-potato Feis dad.
The dress is simple to maintain, is machine-washable (use color safe bleach) and has been stored flat under a 1968 Volkswagen Beetle on an almost oil-free garage floor.
It comes with a plaid cape of questionable lineage which also doubles as a shawl or Feis-camp blanket.
But wait!!!
If you buy it today, we’ll include absolutely free, a matching flower headband!
There’s more!!! Order today and you will also receive a free Feis Basket perfect for hauling all your “Feis-cessories” or a small dog from Kansas!
As incredible as this may sound, there’s even more!!! Call now and receive a pair of “Pre-Neolithic” ghillies similar to those worn by ancient Celtic dancers (i.e. before Riverdance).
(Click on picture for larger view)
Spock: (with arched eyebrow) “I believe you mean “Stun” Captain.”
Bones: “Damn it Jim, it’s just a solo dress!”
You’ve probably seen it too many times:
“Stunning solo dress for sale!” the ad says.
You click on the link and look…
It’s appealing, it’s attractive, and it might even be “eye catching”… But “stunning?” We think not.
Let’s look at a dictionary shall we...
Stunning: -adjective 1. Capable of causing or liable to cause astonishment, bewilderment, or loss of consciousness. 2. Of striking beauty or excellence. Synonyms: Stupefying, numbing, dumbfounding, astounding.
Admit it, that’s what we really want… a solo dress that will astound, stupefy or even cause loss of consciousness on the part of the adjudicator.
In short: “Stunning.”
And until today, such a dress was unachievable...
Until today, the very thought of a dress of this quality was beyond the reach of mere Irish dance mortals such as ourselves…
Until today…
I’ll say it one more time, with not one, not two, but three exclamation points.
Stunning Solo Dress for Sale!!!
The judge will really sit up straight and swear off drinking when she gets a gander of your daughter in this outfit.
This composite dress incorporates a bold array of colors, styles, and fabrics and its “one size fits all design” is suitable for a slim fourteen year old dancer or a forty-five year old, overweight, couch-potato Feis dad.
The dress is simple to maintain, is machine-washable (use color safe bleach) and has been stored flat under a 1968 Volkswagen Beetle on an almost oil-free garage floor.
It comes with a plaid cape of questionable lineage which also doubles as a shawl or Feis-camp blanket.
But wait!!!
If you buy it today, we’ll include absolutely free, a matching flower headband!
There’s more!!! Order today and you will also receive a free Feis Basket perfect for hauling all your “Feis-cessories” or a small dog from Kansas!
As incredible as this may sound, there’s even more!!! Call now and receive a pair of “Pre-Neolithic” ghillies similar to those worn by ancient Celtic dancers (i.e. before Riverdance).
(Click on picture for larger view)
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
You really don't want to know what's going on in the scoring room at a Feis...
(Click on the picture for your own Feis-Size version)
Monday, October 05, 2009
Get your very own "Oireachtas Panic Button"
Are folks in your dance school somewhat complacent about the upcoming Oireachtas?Are you feeling that the other members of your eight-hand team haven’t reached the level of intensity needed for a regional competition and you want to crank it up a couple of notches?
Well now with the help of the “Oireachtas Panic Button” you can do just that.
People just need a subtle reminder every now and then…
The “Oireachtas Panic Button” is available for a very reasonable price from the wonderful folks at Triskelt.
Click on the following link to order yours today:
http://www.triskelt.com/waoiisclthyo.html
Heck, while you’re at it, get one for everyone on your eight-hand team!
Friday, October 02, 2009
Spell it? I Can’t Even Pronounce Oireachtas!
Dear ZandB
My daughter will be competing in her first Oireachtas this year and I have one nagging question: How do you pronounce the pesky thing? I gave up pronouncing things like “An Coimisiún le Rincí Gaelacha” years ago and it’s common knowledge that nobody can pronounce any of the words in the acronym TCRG and ADCRG without falling flat on their face.
Please help!
Distraught Feis Mom
Dear Distraught Feis Mom,
You are not alone.
If you want a good laugh, write the word “Oireachtas” on a three by five card and show it to total strangers in the street while asking them, “How do I pronounce this?” You’ll probably get a few strange looks, maybe some spare pocket change, and as many different answers as people you asked.
My daughter will be competing in her first Oireachtas this year and I have one nagging question: How do you pronounce the pesky thing? I gave up pronouncing things like “An Coimisiún le Rincí Gaelacha” years ago and it’s common knowledge that nobody can pronounce any of the words in the acronym TCRG and ADCRG without falling flat on their face.
Please help!
Distraught Feis Mom
Dear Distraught Feis Mom,
You are not alone.
If you want a good laugh, write the word “Oireachtas” on a three by five card and show it to total strangers in the street while asking them, “How do I pronounce this?” You’ll probably get a few strange looks, maybe some spare pocket change, and as many different answers as people you asked.
Try the same thing at your next Feis (pronounced Fesh).
There are more ways to pronounce Oireachtas than front-yard appliance displays in Mississippi!
But take heart!
There is an acceptable variant in the pronunciation of “Oireachtas” within the southern region.
In the English language, some words occasionally lose a syllable or two in order to make a word easier to pronounce. This omission of syllables or sounds in spoken words is called "elision" Some examples of common “elided” words are:
Laboratory
Temperature
Vegetable
Sometimes, syllables and sounds are dropped from the beginning of the word which is called "aphesis". Now aphesis is more common in regional American dialects than in the more conservative Standard English which is a lot fussier about things of this nature. Although many American dialects feature aphesis, it has reached the highest level of the art in the southern dialects where it yields such pronunciations as tater for potato, possum for opossum and even skeeter for mosquito.
In this regard, an alternative pronunciation of “Oireachtas”, following accepted southern dialectal convention, would be:
ROCK-tus
Keep things simple I always say.
But take heart!
There is an acceptable variant in the pronunciation of “Oireachtas” within the southern region.
In the English language, some words occasionally lose a syllable or two in order to make a word easier to pronounce. This omission of syllables or sounds in spoken words is called "elision" Some examples of common “elided” words are:
Laboratory
Temperature
Vegetable
Sometimes, syllables and sounds are dropped from the beginning of the word which is called "aphesis". Now aphesis is more common in regional American dialects than in the more conservative Standard English which is a lot fussier about things of this nature. Although many American dialects feature aphesis, it has reached the highest level of the art in the southern dialects where it yields such pronunciations as tater for potato, possum for opossum and even skeeter for mosquito.
In this regard, an alternative pronunciation of “Oireachtas”, following accepted southern dialectal convention, would be:
ROCK-tus
Keep things simple I always say.
And for you folks having problems with spelling "Oireachtas", there is a simple Mnemonic (pronounced just like pneumonia except with a "nick" on the end instead of "nee-ah" and there's no "moan", its more like a "mon" as in "Hey mon!")
As I was saying, there is a simple Mnemonic Device or "memory aid" to help you remember how spell Oireachtas in the phrase: "Oh I REACH To A Star".
And now, for a limited time, there's an Mnemonic T-Shirt for those that really have the "Rocktus Spirit"
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Retroactive request for permission to publish a picture of your dancer....
I was just reading the photography policy published by An Coimisiún le Rincí Gaelacha (The Unpronounceable One) in the Syllabus for the 2010 World’s Irish Dance Championships which reads:
“Other than the photographs taken by the official photographer, authorised agents of An Coimisiún le Rincí Gaelacha or accredited photo journalists, all photographs of competitors, competitions and presentations may only be taken for personal use. They may not be redistributed, sold, lent or passed on to third parties. They may also not be used for commercial purposes or used in any publication or website without the express written permission of An Coimisiún le Rincí Gaelacha and the parents or guardians of all dancers included in any particular picture.”
I suddenly realized that all of the pictures I have previously posted in my blog, on Dance.net and in my on-line photo album are apparently not in compliance with this new policy.
In order to “toe the line” I have decided to retroactively request “express written permission” of “The Unpronounceable One” for the online publication of these photos.
But first, I have to get permission from the parents or guardians of all dancers included in any particular picture.
Given that I’ve published in excess of 5,000 photos, this will take a while.
So, I’m gonna do this one photo at a time.
I’m asking that any parents and guardians (and you know who you are) reading this please review the above photo, taken at the 2008 CCE Feis, and respond in the following manner if your child or “guardianated dancer” is depicted:
1. Dear ZandB, I hereby give retroactive permission for you publish the above picture of my daughter. She is the one wearing a solo dress and wig.
2. Dear ZandB, I wish that the image of my daughter, (the one with the wig) be expunged from the picture using a standard “Smiley Happy Face” .
“Other than the photographs taken by the official photographer, authorised agents of An Coimisiún le Rincí Gaelacha or accredited photo journalists, all photographs of competitors, competitions and presentations may only be taken for personal use. They may not be redistributed, sold, lent or passed on to third parties. They may also not be used for commercial purposes or used in any publication or website without the express written permission of An Coimisiún le Rincí Gaelacha and the parents or guardians of all dancers included in any particular picture.”
I suddenly realized that all of the pictures I have previously posted in my blog, on Dance.net and in my on-line photo album are apparently not in compliance with this new policy.
In order to “toe the line” I have decided to retroactively request “express written permission” of “The Unpronounceable One” for the online publication of these photos.
But first, I have to get permission from the parents or guardians of all dancers included in any particular picture.
Given that I’ve published in excess of 5,000 photos, this will take a while.
So, I’m gonna do this one photo at a time.
I’m asking that any parents and guardians (and you know who you are) reading this please review the above photo, taken at the 2008 CCE Feis, and respond in the following manner if your child or “guardianated dancer” is depicted:
1. Dear ZandB, I hereby give retroactive permission for you publish the above picture of my daughter. She is the one wearing a solo dress and wig.
2. Dear ZandB, I wish that the image of my daughter, (the one with the wig) be expunged from the picture using a standard “Smiley Happy Face” .
Please note, for those of requesting the “expunge” option, multiple “Smiley Faces” are available…
The first is the “Happy Smiley Face” as depicted above.
As an option you can also choose the “Sad Smiley Face”, which on first read may sound like a contradiction of terms, but I’ve had a couple of glasses of Pinot Noir, so I’m sticking with it:
For those of you wishing to make a statement of some type, the “Pfttt!! Smiley Face” is also available:
And for a limited time, I’m offering a “Premium Package” for a nominal extra charge in which you can expunge your dancer’s face with a personal message of your choice. Let’s just say you’re trying to get rid of the dress she’s wearing, you can use a “Marketing Smiley Face”:
To assist in finding your dancer, a larger version of the original photo is available by clicking on the following:
http://photos.imageevent.com/zandb/modelrealease/CCE_2007_318.jpg
So, please provide your selected response as soon as possible and I’ll do my best to comply with your wishes.
But please hurry as I have 4,999 photos to go!
Monday, August 24, 2009
Intro to Anatomy 101 Chapter 7: The Gluteal Fold
Everyone involved in competitive Irish dance should be aware by now of the newest rumored-ruling regarding solo dresses and gluteal folds.
When I first heard of gluteal folds, I assumed, because it had something to do with hem length, it was a dressmaker’s term, you know, like some new type of fancy ruffle crease or temporary basting technique used to keep fabric in place while you were off hunting for a corkscrew for your wine bottle.
I was just as shocked as the rest of you when I discovered “gluteal fold” was an anatomical term just like pancreas or kidney except with funnier pictures.
Did I say “shocked?”
Dumbfounded is more like it.
I mean think about it, can’t you just picture the power-elite of CLRG sitting in a conference with charts and PowerPoints and such discussing the finer points of the issue.
(For those of you who are still totally lost, there is a rumored-ruling that, effective January 10, of an uncertain year, solo dresses must not extend below a point halfway between the back of the knee and the bottom of the gluteal fold.)
My first question and probably the one insurmountable hurdle to overcome is probably the self-same question on everyone’s mind:
“Who will measure this?”
“Not I,” said the little red hen.
But I have the answer!
Nuns!
Yes Nuns!
And I’m talking the Pre-Vatican II variety with their massive rulers. Not those wimpy flimsy softwood 100 centimeter things they give away at the hardware store. That would never do. I’m talking those varnished hardwood maple and oak yard sticks with the polished brass tip. No metrics on that puppy.
And can’t you just see the stage-side discussions:
Stage Manager: “I’m sorry, but Bridget’s dress is too short!”
Feis Mom: “Her dress isn’t too short! it’s, it’s her gluteal fold! Her gluteal fold is too long!”
I can see it now… frenzied Feis moms ducking into the changing rooms, duct tape and sock glue in hand performing emergency “gluteal fold lifts” to bring their daughters into compliance…
More to come as soon as I can find that pesky corkscrew…
When I first heard of gluteal folds, I assumed, because it had something to do with hem length, it was a dressmaker’s term, you know, like some new type of fancy ruffle crease or temporary basting technique used to keep fabric in place while you were off hunting for a corkscrew for your wine bottle.
I was just as shocked as the rest of you when I discovered “gluteal fold” was an anatomical term just like pancreas or kidney except with funnier pictures.
Did I say “shocked?”
Dumbfounded is more like it.
I mean think about it, can’t you just picture the power-elite of CLRG sitting in a conference with charts and PowerPoints and such discussing the finer points of the issue.
(For those of you who are still totally lost, there is a rumored-ruling that, effective January 10, of an uncertain year, solo dresses must not extend below a point halfway between the back of the knee and the bottom of the gluteal fold.)
My first question and probably the one insurmountable hurdle to overcome is probably the self-same question on everyone’s mind:
“Who will measure this?”
“Not I,” said the little red hen.
But I have the answer!
Nuns!
Yes Nuns!
And I’m talking the Pre-Vatican II variety with their massive rulers. Not those wimpy flimsy softwood 100 centimeter things they give away at the hardware store. That would never do. I’m talking those varnished hardwood maple and oak yard sticks with the polished brass tip. No metrics on that puppy.
And can’t you just see the stage-side discussions:
Stage Manager: “I’m sorry, but Bridget’s dress is too short!”
Feis Mom: “Her dress isn’t too short! it’s, it’s her gluteal fold! Her gluteal fold is too long!”
I can see it now… frenzied Feis moms ducking into the changing rooms, duct tape and sock glue in hand performing emergency “gluteal fold lifts” to bring their daughters into compliance…
More to come as soon as I can find that pesky corkscrew…
Friday, August 21, 2009
Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program
Dear ZandB;
I desperately need your help!
My daughter recently switched dance schools for reasons I do not want to address here. I must be absolutely witless because I never heard about that six month ban thing preventing her from competing at a Feis. Now my daughter is going crazy because, well frankly, she needs a Feis hit...bad, and it’s getting worse every week. At first I thought she had it under control but this morning, while cleaning out her room, I found (I’m almost too embarrassed to say this) a cheerleading magazine! Is there any way to help get my daughter back in to competition mode? I don’t think she’ll survive six months without a Feis so I’ll try anything!
Witless Feis Mom.
Dear Witless Feis Mom,
You are not alone.
I get hundreds of letters each year from witless Feis moms like yourself who are totally uninformed about the transfer ban until after their daughter settles in to her new school.
With these “Feis free” weekends, many dancers now have a lot of idle time which can result in developing negative behavior problems like cheerleading or boyfriends.
In a effort to protect dancers from the ravages of “the restyling period” as it is euphemistically called, a secretive group of compassionate Feis Moms, TCRGs and Tanning Salon owners collectively referred to as members of “The Rince Code”, have banded together to create the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program”.
Under the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program” your daughter will be given a complete new “Irish Dance” identity which will allow her to compete, in a discreet manner, at select out-of-town Feiseanna. She will be loaned a new dance dress, (appropriate to her grade), wig, facial make over and registration credentials for eFeis, FeisWeb, and Feisworx which include the name of fictitious dance school and TCRG.
Transportation to and from the Feis will be provided along with the services of a highly trained and qualified surrogate Feis Mom who will assist your daughter in whatever manner required while still maintaining the “veil of secrecy” required of members participating in the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program”.
Your daughter will continue to maintain her current daily routine with her friends, school and family, only assuming her “secret identity” on “Feis Day”. Neither her current or previous TCRGs will be made aware of this situation and your daughter will be free to “Feis as she pleases” during this trying six month period.
Regrettably, because of the secretive nature of this program, no public acknowledgement will be made of any of her competition results and, as such, the dancer will not be able to advance to the next higher grade or participate in major championships as a result of her placements while a member of the program.
The “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program” has enjoyed an incredible one hundred percent success rate in creating a safe haven for over seventy dancers like your daughter. A member of “The Rince Code” will be contacting you shortly.
ZandB
I desperately need your help!
My daughter recently switched dance schools for reasons I do not want to address here. I must be absolutely witless because I never heard about that six month ban thing preventing her from competing at a Feis. Now my daughter is going crazy because, well frankly, she needs a Feis hit...bad, and it’s getting worse every week. At first I thought she had it under control but this morning, while cleaning out her room, I found (I’m almost too embarrassed to say this) a cheerleading magazine! Is there any way to help get my daughter back in to competition mode? I don’t think she’ll survive six months without a Feis so I’ll try anything!
Witless Feis Mom.
Dear Witless Feis Mom,
You are not alone.
I get hundreds of letters each year from witless Feis moms like yourself who are totally uninformed about the transfer ban until after their daughter settles in to her new school.
With these “Feis free” weekends, many dancers now have a lot of idle time which can result in developing negative behavior problems like cheerleading or boyfriends.
In a effort to protect dancers from the ravages of “the restyling period” as it is euphemistically called, a secretive group of compassionate Feis Moms, TCRGs and Tanning Salon owners collectively referred to as members of “The Rince Code”, have banded together to create the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program”.
Under the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program” your daughter will be given a complete new “Irish Dance” identity which will allow her to compete, in a discreet manner, at select out-of-town Feiseanna. She will be loaned a new dance dress, (appropriate to her grade), wig, facial make over and registration credentials for eFeis, FeisWeb, and Feisworx which include the name of fictitious dance school and TCRG.
Transportation to and from the Feis will be provided along with the services of a highly trained and qualified surrogate Feis Mom who will assist your daughter in whatever manner required while still maintaining the “veil of secrecy” required of members participating in the “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program”.
Your daughter will continue to maintain her current daily routine with her friends, school and family, only assuming her “secret identity” on “Feis Day”. Neither her current or previous TCRGs will be made aware of this situation and your daughter will be free to “Feis as she pleases” during this trying six month period.
Regrettably, because of the secretive nature of this program, no public acknowledgement will be made of any of her competition results and, as such, the dancer will not be able to advance to the next higher grade or participate in major championships as a result of her placements while a member of the program.
The “Irish Dancer Witless Protection Program” has enjoyed an incredible one hundred percent success rate in creating a safe haven for over seventy dancers like your daughter. A member of “The Rince Code” will be contacting you shortly.
ZandB
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Is it just me or is Tennessee really embracing Irish dance?
All roads lead to "Nansville"Click on the map to see a larger version.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
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