Addicted to Feis

The "Worlds" are a distant memory and the 2008 Feis Season is now in full swing!

Time to start singing the Feis National Anthem!

For the full effect, crank up the speakers and click here for some cheesy accompaniment.

Addicted to Feis

The lights are on, but you’re not home
You’re on the road to parts unknown
Your heels are in, your toes are out
Is this what life is all about?
You can’t sleep, you gotta dance
There might not be a second chance
Your arms are straight with Velcro sleeves
The treble jig is all you need!

Whoa, you often wonder how you got into this mess, oh yeah!
Got to get to prelims and that new Solo Dress
You know you’re gonna have to face it you’re addicted to Feis

Dance floor looks in sorry shape
But that’s quite alright, you brought duct tape
The music starts, you hardly breathe
Your heart beats at Oireachtas speed!
The judge just smiled at your slip jig
Or was she frowning at that triple wig?
You wear your Ghillies laced nice and tight
Too bad they’re playing a slow horn pipe!

Whoa, you often wonder how you got in this mess, oh yeah
Got to get to prelims and that new Solo Dress
You know you’re gonna have to face it you’re addicted to Feis

Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis

Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis!

The lights are on, but you’re not home
You’re on the road to parts unknown
Your heels are in, your toes are out
Is this what life is all about?

Whoa, you often wonder how you got in this mess, oh yeah!
Got to get to prelims and that new Solo Dress
You know you’re gonna have to face it you’re addicted to Feis

Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis
Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis

Might as well face it you’re addicted to Feis!

Happy Easter!

What Type of Stage Presents Do Adjudicators Look For?

After receiving several queries from Distraught Feis Moms seeking advice on how to improve their daughter's stage presents, I have to say you can never go wrong with a T-Shirt!

The Spring Line-Up of Must-Have Feis Apparel...

Excused Absence from School for a Religious Observance

February 24, 2008

Mr. Pooter Bullard
Principal
Blue River Central High School
1234 Central Street
Carriere, MS 39426

Dear Principal Bullard;

This letter is to inform you that Bridget will be absent from school on Monday, March 17, to take part in local observances of a major religious holiday.

Bridget will be participating in a variety of enrichment and religious activities commemorating the perseverance and courage of Saint Patrick, the beloved patron Saint of our Irish cultural and religious identity. These activities include parades, sharing of ethnic foods and beverages, and a variety of communal gatherings punctuated by celebratory music, dance and song.

Now Pooter, I feel that a student as bright as Bridget should not suffer adverse or prejudicial consequences from an excused absence for a religious observance and be allowed a reasonable opportunity to make up the schoolwork missed due to the absence. The courts seem to agree with me: (Church of God v. Amarillo Independent School Dist., 511 F. Supp. 613 (N. D. Tex. 1981), aff'd, 670 F. 2d 46 (5th Cir. 1982).

Our aim is that this absence does not affect Bridget’s academic performance nor create a prolonged and costly court battle like the one that occurred in Amarillo, so please let me know if she will need to complete any assignments before March 17, by emailing me at zebadiah_beauregard@yahoo.com.

Sincerely,

Zebadiah Beauregard


Zebadiah Beauregard
1040 Forsythia Blvd
Picayune, MS 39466

Building a Basement Dance Floor

My daughter’s dance floor is held together by screws and glue, and love, and sweat, and dreams. It’s surrounded by mirrors and the ghosts of every Feis she has attended.

A kangaroo helped to build it.

I have received many requests from Distraught Feis Moms who, although appreciating the chic stylishness of their daughter’s ankle braces, wanted ideas on how to build an inexpensive dance floor with a sprung-wood effect on top of a cement foundation such as a basement.

And now, through the aid of a wonderful Feshin’ family who actually used this approach, we have pictures of the process!

The dance floor is constructed of plywood, lumber cross-braces and closed cell foam.

Top Layer: 1/2 inch plywood or particle board in 4x8 feet sheets.

Middle Layer: 1" x 2" cross braces (1" x 4" cross braces where plywood sheets overlap)

Bottom Layer: 1/2" closed cell foam strips (Use the foam bedding rolls available from camping or surplus stores)

The materials listed above are fairly light-weight and offer extraordinary stability and shock protection. In lieu of the foam, a full carpet or carpet padding offers some shock protection, but not to the same degree as the foam. In either case, a lattice system is still recommended for consistency and stability.

If multiple dancers or large kangaroos are using the floor, you may want to consider heavier grade lumber or plywood.

Additional Supplies:

• Screws and screwdriver (or better yet, a drill with a screwdriver chuck)
• Construction-style wood glue and plastic/foam glue tubes
• Caulking Gun
• Clamps, tape measure, and various and sundry other dance floor construction paraphernalia (use your imagination)
• Harp Lager (estimate two beers for each full plywood sheet if two adults are building the dance floor)
• Age-appropriate beverage of choice for younger assistants

Size:

Use full sheets of plywood in whatever geometrical pattern is appropriate for your basement size and daughter’s dancing dreams (two, three, four or more whole sheets.) It eliminates cutting and keeps the measurement math for the lattice and necessary supplies to a third or fourth grade level. Besides, a kangaroo with a power saw is not a pretty sight.

Create a support lattice with 16 inch by 16 inch squares using the 1" lumber. For the most part, you’ll use 1"x 2" lumber to make the lattices but on the edges, where you are joining two plywood sheets, overlap the sheets with the 1”x 4” lumber.

Attach the lattice to the bottom of the plywood using screws, standard lumber adhesive and caulking guns. I highly recommend the screw/glue combo as it makes for a very stable floor. In addition, after a few beers, glue-squirting caulking guns have immeasurable entertainment value.

Feis dad and daughter assembling the support lattice

Cut the foam pads into long, 1.5 inch strips and glue them to the bottom of the lattice using the same caulking gun with a different glue appropriate for plastic and foam. Build the floor in 4x8 foot sections and assemble them together all at once. Make sure you allow the glue to dry for at least 24 hours prior to using (you also want to let your dance area air out a bit too, or your dancer may be a little light on her feet from glue fumes).

4 x 8 sheet of particle board with lattice and foam (note areas of overlap)

Pre-assembled sheets are laid down and overlapped

Finished dance floor. Note the extra bonus of the mirror wall!

One more thing, don't ever, ever, let the kangaroo put a beer can in the caulking gun!

Trust me on that one!

Letters from Distraught Feis Moms #214

Dear ZandB

My daughter is finally competing at the prizewinner level and appears to have hit a speed bump as she is not placing well. When I asked what we needed to do to improve, our TCRG said my daughter needs more stage presents.

So what kind of presents should we buy? Do I get one for just the adjudicator or for the musician and stage manager too? I've never noticed any other moms giving stage presents, so I assume you have to be discreet about it. How do I make sure the adjudicator knows the present is from my daughter? How much should I spend?

Distraught Feis Mom

Dear Distraught Feis Mom,

My daughter competes at the preliminary championship level and most of the parents give adjudicators ties as stage presents. This practice is so commonplace that mark sheets from champion level competitions often contain the disclaimer:

"Due to ties, you may not have placed as high as this report suggests!"

Hope this helps!

ZandB

A little advice for all you folks travelling to Ireland

You know that sign at the airport just before you go through the metal detector that says “Please remove shoes and outer garments”?

“Outer garments” doesn’t mean pants.

Don’t ask me how I know, but trust me on this one.

Have a safe trip!

Museum of Irish Dancing Receives First Major Acquisition!

Dublin, January 27, 2008:

During a press conference this afternoon, the curator of the Museum of Irish Dancing announced the acquisition of a significant relic associated with the history of Irish Dance. “Our collection of memorabilia and artifacts will insure the heritage, history, and traditions of Irish Dance will be preserved for generations to come”.

Although a permanent display for this object won’t be ready until the summer of 2008 a photograph of this “historical piece” can be viewed below.



This is an actual un-retouched photograph of an Irish Dancer wearing the Poodle Socks during a performance in 2007. This pair of Poodle Socks was recently acquired by the Museum of Irish Dancing.

It’s official!

Indisputable, irrefutable, undeniable, and incontrovertible proof of my Irishmanliness!

And a scholar to boot!

And all’s I had to do was kiss a moose!